steroline
by SEKCENDGAME
Summary: this is my take on steroline... friends or more... my opinion. ONESHOT


The look in her eyes tells me shes hurt, liz is sitting on the hospital bed as caroline tries her best to ignore me. How could i not realise? Everyone else seemed to. Was i too self absorbed? Or was the fact that Elena chose Damon clouding my feelings? Or carolines to be more precise. I told her a while back that she reminded me of lexi, its true, shes my best friend, i never thought about her in a romantic sense.

Shes beautiful yes, i can admit that but shes my friend, do i really want to complicate things by being something more? Im not sure, and to be honest i dont think she is either. I follow her out of the room as the doctor starts tending to her mother.

Crossing her arms over her chest she doesnt even look at me "please dont ask my mother for her opinions"

"you heard that?"

"yeah ive got super hearing, i hear everything" she says sarcastically

"only if you listen" i quip back, She glances at me before quickly turning away again and i sigh "why?"

"why was i listening?"

"why do you..."im a little afraid to say it out loud but force the words out anyway "have a thing for me?"

"i dont" she answers with anger evident in her voice

"okay then... Why did you...have a thing for me?" i ask her. I honestly dont see what could draw her to me, to be anything more than what we are, or were until i treated her the way i did.

"we said we would never talk about this again so just-"

"caroline please" i cut her off mid sentence "just talk to me, tell me how, tell me why, please just make me understand how it is that i missed it"

She huffs and turns to look at me, she has a glint in her eye and i think she wants to punch me. "what kind of stupid question is that?" she asks me "why did i have a thing for you? I dont know stefan maybe its because i thought you were worth having a thing for" she shoots back. I noticed she used the words 'were worth' does this mean she doesnt think im worth it now? Not that i would blame her after what i did. "maybe because when i woke up a vampire you told me i could get through it and i did. Maybe because when i watched Elena move on with your brother... I couldnt imagine why she would let anyone like you go. Because you were practically my best friend because i trusted you"

"im sorry" i tell her truthfully. I dont know what else to say, she looks so pissed off right now, im sure if there was a stake within her reach she would have driven it through my heart by now "im sorry for not seeing it, im sorry for not-"

"feeling it back" she interupts me

"no! I didnt say that, i dont know what i felt, i mean... my head was all over the place" i pause unable to read her reaction, should i carry on? Say something else? "i am incredibly sorry for the way i treated you" its true. Through everything caroline has been the constant, with me and there for me through all of it.

Caroline smiled slightly "yeah well, i know exactly what you were feeling stefan, because even if a tiny little piece of you felt for me what i was starting to feel for you... You wouldnt have walked away" she looks like she wants to cry and i loathe myself for making her feel this way "but i dont hate you for that, i dont hate you for mourning your brother, i dont hate you for being the biggest jerk on the planet while doing so" i know shes right. I was a jerk. "but i accept your apology"

Shes looking at me like im a stranger, like she doesnt even know me. "but you do still hate me?" i ask her, hoping that she'll say no.

She diverts her gaze away from me slightly and shes contemplating what to say "yes" thats not what i wanted to hear "yeah i hate you" she says thru gritted teeth "because if i dont hate you for ruining our friendship, then i have to hate my self and i think i deserve better than that" she tells me before she walks down the corridoor away from me.

I dont know what to do, my heart feels like its going to fall out of my chest any minute, im stuck, do i listen to my heart and go after her and try to resolve thing or do i listen to my head? Its telling me to suck it up, give her some cool off time and then go from there. Her words come back to me, apparently our friendship is already ruined. It cant get much worse can it?

I run down the hospital corridoor after her, shouting her name, hoping that she'll stop and let me say my piece. "caroline" i yell again but she carries on walking. I glance around making sure thier is no one in sight and use my vamp speed to catch up with her, stopping right infront of her, she almost bumps into me.

"what?" she snaps, its obvious she just wants to leave but im not going to let her until ive finished what i want to do. Before i know it my lips are crushed to hers.

Is this what i wanted to do? Im not sure but i'll go with it anyway. She pulls back slightly and her face is blank, i try to read her reaction but theres nothing. She leans in closer again and places her lips over mine. The sensation is odd. Theres no spark or fireworks. It feels different, new, unexpected. Her lips part and i slip my tounge in to her mouth and she does the same. After a couple of seconds i pull away. I dont know if this was a good thing or a bad thing and im not sure if i should just go with it and try again. It feels strange, dont get me wrong it was a good kiss, just different.

Neither of us looks at the other and i clear my throat awkwardly, taking a huge breath i eventually look at her "well that was um..." im not sure what it was, im still waiting for her reaction but theres still nothing, maybe shes in shock that i kissed her at all.

After a few seconds she narrows her eyes and pouts "it was like kissing my brother" she says plainly and i smile, im glad im not the only one who felt like i was sucking on my sisters tongue. Her face tells me shes a little disgusted and im feeling a little self concious. Maybe it was something i did wrong.

"i think we should try again" i tell her. She smiles at me but makes no effort to move so i lean forward, i dont really want to kiss her again but my minds telling me that maybe if i put 100% into it she will enjoy it.

Before i can move any closer to her again she stops me putting one hand on my chest and pushed me gently away from her. "thats not going to happen"

I back up and smile "are you sure because im pretty sure you would enjoy it if i give it my all"

"do you want me to enjoy it?"

I dont know. Do i? No definitely not were better as friends "no but i know youve kissed klaus and hes got 900+ years more experience than me and its pretty hard to compete with that."

Caroline laughs. Its the first laugh ive heard from her mouth in a while "trust me stef. It was a good kiss. It was just...strange"

Strange? Thats not good. Although in our situation it is. Kissing her again would be like when you see that relative on special occasions that always kisses you and makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. I back up a bit more and nod once at her putting both hands into the front pockets of my jeans "we probably-"

"shouldnt do this again, yeah i agree" she says with certainty "were friends, i dont know what the hell i was thinking"

I think thats going a bit far but keep my mouth shut. Im not that bad am i? I dont even look at her as my gaze wanders arount the area attempting to avoid her gaze "um..."

This is really awkward, i didnt think it could get any worse. I was wrong. "okay then" she says as she avoids eye contact too "um... Im gonna go" she says it quietly "this, whatever this was" she throws her hands up and lets them slap back onto the sides of her legs "this stays in the do not discuss pile... Forever. You got it?"

I smile at her bossyness, theres caroline! "got it" i nod again before she walks past me and down the corridoor without another word. Im glad she feels the same as me. Its the most wierd and awkward kiss ive ever had in my life. I know it will still take some time for her to forgive me, but at least now were on the same page.

Nothing could ever happen romantically, even if we wanted it too.  
>Were friends and friends we will stay.<p> 


End file.
